So much has happened since my last ’12 post, it’s really not worth updating. In fact, I disabled the feature that emails subscribers (let’s see if that works!). I just want to write, and I don’t seem to do it unless I post it somewhere (someday I’ll figure out why this is).
Dark, dark days… inside and outside. Lost in a dark fog… but not all lost. I’m still here, and so is the Lord.
Had a beautiful conversation with a dear brother last night (thank you). Lots of things to meditate on from that, but right now, the part that’s rolling around in my head (my heart?) is the part about the abandoned little boy who is me. He mentioned that I have someone now who cares about him and won’t abandon him. I assumed he was talking about the Lord, but he was talking about me. Me. I won’t abandon the wounded part of me. Any more than I’ll abandon the wounded parts of my daughters. I will take care of my boy. And of course this is true about my Lord, too. So I am not abandoned. It felt good to stay and comfort him last night, and to let Jesus comfort him. Good to remember to have compassion, even on the worst parts of me. Interesting; a wounded child inside, but with all of the sins and vices and the like of a full-grown middle-aged man. I had to chuckle.
With love and compassion,